Life's Lessons

Life's Lessons



If you read my earlier entry on "Expectation vs Acceptance" - (http://maitre-light.blogspot.com/2007/01/expectation-vs-acceptance.html), you'll probably know that my mum broke her wrist from a fall 2 years ago.

After the accident, she kept wondering how and why she fell.

Some people she spoke to suggested that she seek some master's help.

For my sisters and I, each time she asked, I would either keep quiet, or I would tell her, "It's over already. Important thing is you're okay now."

My eldest sister told her she's fortunate that she only broke her wrist - a minor injury, cos' it could have been worst.

How true!

But does my mum listen?

Of course not!


Did I tell you my sisters and I are 'invisible'?

Besides, which human would want to listen to boring facts, even if it's for our own good?

But sensational, spicy, juicy stories?

Oh yeah! Count us in anytime!

It's only Humans' nature.


One day, a year and a half later, she brought up the subject again.

This time, I was not so sympathetic.

For the past one and a half years, she had been saying the same thing over and over again, like a worn-out tape recorder - to the point that now, my sisters simply ignore her.

Ha! Ha! Now she gets a taste of her own medicine ... Ha! Ha!

Anyway, it's been one and a half years and the 'mystery' of her fall hasn't been solved.

I was determined to 'solve' it.

So that day, when she brought up the issue the one hundred and millionth time, okay I exaggerated, but you get the idea.

Anyway, I said this to her,

"Does it help? Knowing the reason behind your fall. So what if you know the reason? What difference does it make? Does it mean that by knowing the reason, you can reverse things, that you wrist will be as it was before? What's done cannot be undone. What are you going to do about it? It's past and over already. Accept, move on. Important thing is you're fine and your wrist has recovered. Like sis said, you're fortunate that you only broke your wrist. It could have been worst. Some people become paralysed or die after a fall, you did not. Be thankful! The floor was wet and slippery, you were careless, you rushed, you fell. That's all to it. Learn from the incident : not to rush about so much. Walk slowly and carefully, especially when the floor is wet and slippery."

Guess what?!

'Mystery' solved! I haven't heard her mentioning that topic since. (Hee Hee)

You see, the thing is, whatever that happens to us in life is to teach us, to show us the way.

Important thing is : What are we going to do about it? What can we learn from it?

Many people meet with setbacks, misfortunes or failures in life, or accidents, terminal illnesses etc, and they keep asking why; sinking deeper into sadness and depression and self-pity.

The point is, Does it help?


A yoga master once said this to me, "You had a hard life."

My reply to him was, "Depends on how you look at it."

Life to me is neither hard nor easy. It just is.

It depends on how we 'look' at it.


Just as I wrote in my entry on 'Happiness Is' - (http://maitre-light.blogspot.com/2006/12/happiness-is.html ) -

'A beautiful world can only be seen through the eyes of a happy heart.'

If we have a happy heart, the world will always be and appear beautiful.

It's up to us to see beyond the imperfections of life and discover how perfect life actually is.


To me, Life has a way of settling itself.

Not that we slump back, give up and do nothing.

Some don't even try.

Rather, we make an effort, we continue to do our best, whatever we can, and at the same time, allow the situation/life to unfold.

We accept.


I must add that my mum is a very strong woman.

I admire her cos' at her age, when she broke her right wrist, and her being right-dominant, she trained herself to use her left hand.

She made her left hand so strong that it's as efficient and effective as her right.

She may question why and how she fall, but at the same time, she accepts, and made the effort.

Likewise, I accept.

I accept whatever Life 'throws' at me.

I won't say it's easy.

But I feel that it's through the setbacks, the failures, the falls, the stumbles and the obstacles that I learn;

That helps me to grow and mature, and makes me who, what and how I am today.

If I fail a particular lesson, I know it'll come back again and again until I learn whatever that's needed to be learned.


I never let life get me down.

If Life throws tomatoes at me, I make ketchup out from it. Or, tomato soup.

It's healthy, prevents cancer and packed with lots of vitamin C.

If Life piles dung on me, I grow flowers and fruit trees.

I get to enjoy the beauty of the flowers and the nutrients of the fruits.

Very healthy!

This, to me, is Life.

The way I 'see' it.




"Instead of complaining about darkness, why not light a candle."
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"Know that things are happening perfectly the way they should,

No matter how imperfect it seems."




"In life, Focus on the journey, and not the destination;

For the lessons lie in the journey, and Not the destination."




"Whatever that's meant to happen, will happen

No matter how you try to prevent it from happening;

Whatever that's not meant to happen, will not happen

No matter how you try to make it happen.

So accept, and not resist,

Surrender and not control;

Let go, and let Nature be."

The Search

The Search

During one of my walks in the park, some parts of the song 'The Search is Over" by Survivor came to my mind.

And it is from this song that this entry is born.

I have adapted it as follows so as to express myself fully.

Enjoy! :)

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I was living in a 'dream'

Where nothing is forever

Taking on the world

That was just my ego's style

Then one day it hit me

Like a lightning from the blue

Every which way I turn

I discover there's nothing new

That's when I look in front of my eyes

I can see Forever

The search is over

It was in front of me

Right before my eyes

With me all this while .....

"Very often, what we want in life -

Love, Happiness etc is right in front of us

But we don't 'see' it

Cos' our eyes are too clouded

Our minds too deluded

Take a moment and 'see' -

Really 'see'

I've ended my search

I hope you'll end yours soon, too."



"Look no further;

Look within.

Look not in the external -

For the external will only confuse you.

Go inwards,

Look deep within.

For it's here where all secrets lie

It's here where all answers lie

And, it's here where Truth lies.

Go inwards -

To the heart of it all.

If you want love, it's here where you'll find love.

If you want joy, it's here where you'll find joy

And, If you want peace, it's here where you'll find peace.

For it's here (deep within us) where it (attachment/craving) all began.

And it's here where it (cycle of samsara) will all end

Through beginningless time, endless time."

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"Because of Attachment/Craving, there's Life.

Because of Life, there's Suffering.

Because of Suffering, there's Kamma.

Because of Kamma, there's Rebirth.

Because of Rebirth, there's Cycle of Samsara."

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"The battle is not between ourselves and others (external),

But between ourselves and ourselves (within)."

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"You can win all the battles,

You can win all the wars.

But there's no Real Victory

Until you conquer yourself."

- The Buddha

Human's Hunger

Human's Hunger



Humans are 'hungry' -

Hungry for Power :

Political Power

Religious Power

Psychic Power

Nuclear Power

Academic Power

Financial / Money Power

Status Power

Power Power Power ...



Ha! Ha! Ha!

So Silly!



If only they know

There's only One Power -



The Power of Love

Universal, Unconditional Love.



Then perhaps

They won't be so 'hungry' anymore!

What Do these All mean?

What Do these All mean?


I work 365 days a year.

Weekends and public holidays are no rest days as I have my personal commitments to keep.

This (physical) body is so tired and worn out, that I asked myself "What do these All mean?"


Psychic Abilities : Clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairvaudience etc.

What do these all mean?


Names : Unique names, auspicious names, classy names, simple names , plain names, fame, recognition, reputation, classification - elite, non-elite etc.

What do these all mean?


Jobs : Chairman, President, PM, Minister, CEO, Manager, Professor, Doctor, Cleaner, Rubbish Collector, Road Sweeper, etc.

What do these all mean?


Cars : Big cars, small cars, new car, old car, cheap car, expensive car, no car, chauffeur, no chauffeur, etc.

What do these all mean?


Houses : Big house, small house, bungalow, landed, condo, HDB, private, tent, caravan, hut, etc.

What do these all mean?


Body : Plain, fat, thin, beautiful, short, tall etc.

What do these all mean?


Does it mean you belong to a certain class of people with certain abilities, are of certain quality, or of a certain class of society?

Psychic abilities are merely gifts which all of us have.

If you have them, it's because you just happen to discover yours earlier than others due to your past diligent practice.

It does not mean you are special or have special abilities.


Names are just labels for people to identify you with.

It does not mean you're of superior or inferior quality.


Jobs are just things we do to serve our fellow beings.

It does not mean you're better or worse than others.

If you have a 'good' job, fame and recognition, it's probably due to your past good deeds ( i.e. Kamma ).


Cars are just a mode of transportation to take us from point A to point B.

Houses are just something that shelter us from the sun and the rain.

Both cars and houses do not mean you belong to a higher or lower class of society.

If you have nice cars and houses, it's probably due to your past generosity.


Body is just a 'vehicle' for us to do our work with.

It does not mean you are 'it'.

If you have a 'beautiful' body, it's probably due to your past virtues and wholesome qualities.


If you think about it, Everything means Nothing.

Likewise, Praise and Blame, Happiness and Unhappiness, Fortune and misfortune, Fame and ill-fame etc, mean nothing.

But if you identify with them, you merely strengthen your sense of self and your ego identity in this physical realm.


Important thing is :

What are you doing with these gifts, fortunes, abilities, talents of yours, especially if you have them.

A knife wielded in the hands of a robber can hurt/harm and kill.

But a knife wielded by a surgeon can save lives.

So, which is yours?



"The more we are unattached to the 'Happiness' of this life, the more we will have Happy, Peaceful lives."

Close Encounter of the 'Death' Kind

Close Encounter of the 'Death' Kind



As a kid, I was weak.

I would fall ill easily and frequently.

Fevers with temperatures that run outrageously high, and fits along with it were a common occurrence.

My family was poor.

We could not afford a doctor, much less go to the hospital.

All my mum could do was wrap me up in the thick blankets to sweat it out, and with a spoon nearby just in case, and then hoped that the temperature would go down and that I'll be fine.



As I grew up, my encounters with 'death' were of the road kind.

There were quite a few occasions where I was almost knocked down.

I admit some were due to my careless jaywalking, but there were also others when the light was in my favour, and the drivers were making illegal turns.

If cats have 9 lives, which of course they don't, I would probably outlived them.



When I became a working adult, I underwent an operation that reduced me to nothing but a bag of bones.

As one of my friends commented when we met, I 'look like a fishball on a stick'.

I became so scrawny that my head had become bigger than my body.

A gust of wind would have no problem sweeping me off my feet.

It takes a lot of determination and will power to hold myself down, and keep my two feet planted to the ground.



The pursuit of worldly pleasures and mundane happiness had left me with 2 growths which, according to the doctor, if not removed, would endanger my life.

He's a famous doctor.

I was ignorant of such things.

I believe him.

It was a simple operation which 'crippled' me.

My health took a turn for the worst.

I would wake up in the middle of the night with severe and sharp abdominal pains, vomiting blood once.

In addition, I suffered side effects from the medication prescribed.

Many times, I would feel breathless, and would be grasping for air, coupled with severe chest pains.

I felt like a fish on dry land, fighting for its life.

It's scary to go to sleep at night cos' I do not know if I'll wake up to see the dawn of light.

Giddiness and then blacking out the moment I got up from bed was a common affair.

I was practically bedridden most of the time cos' I have no strength.

I would pay huge amounts of money to wait for hours, together with others in a small waiting room, even though I'm 2-3 hours ahead of my scheduled appointed time, just to see him 1-5 mins.

Well, he is famous.

There's only enough time for 'hi', 'how are you' and 'bye'.

There's no taking of blood pressure or weight cos' that would take up too much time.

Ditto telling him of my symptoms cos' he's just not present.

Physically, he is.

But his mind is elsewhere in a land far far away.

And all he would attribute it to was 'stress' - to get me out of the room fast.

I supposed I talked too much and wasted too much precious time.

But I was not even working at that time.

I left my job just before the operation.

How stressful can resting at home and bedridden be?

That's when I left him, seek a second, and then a third opinion.

Overall, it was a very good experience.

And also a life-changing one.

Cos' after that I took about a year's break to recover, and allow myself to heal, naturally.

At the same time, I also tried to 'find' myself again.

I was 'lost'.

I used the time to be alone, rest, did physical yoga (which at that time, I didn't know what I was doing), build up my strength, take walks in the park which was hard cos' I could barely walk 100 steps, much less the whole park!

The minute I took a few steps, it was time for me to go home cos' I had neither the strength nor the energy, or the heart and lung capacity to carry on.

But I persevered.

I would take a few 'baby' steps, a day at a time.

I spent my time thinking, reflecting, asking and questioning, "Who am I?", "Why am I here?", "What is the purpose of life?", "Who is the 'real' me?" etc etc.

At that time, one of my friend lent me some Dhamma books, which I read with relish.

One was on Meditation.

I tried, and I realise I could do it.

I enjoyed it.

I loved it!

It was so strange.

I never knew I could meditate.

At that time, I didn't even know what meditation was.

Never heard of it.

We also attended talks by 2 monastics.

It helped me with my 'search' and understanding of life cause everything they said made sense.

I would try and remember as much as I can, and when I reached home, I would write them all down.

It helped me turn my life around.

And changed the way I look at things, at life.

I'm still with my 3rd doctor who charges reasonably, and who's clinic is very accessible to me.

I don't have to wait for hours, or be ahead of my scheduled appointed time.

I get to see him at my appointed time.

Blood pressure, weight etc are always done just to ensure I'm in the pink of health and that everything is fine.

There's always time for a short chit-chat as well.

"To all my freinds and loved one who were there for me during this difficult period : Thank You! For without your care, concern and support, I know it would have been very much harder for me.

So once again, Thank You!"

My latest encounter with death was in February 2006.

It was an allergy attack.

I had a similar attack a year before at the same place, although it wasn't as severe or life- threatening.

Then, it was just rashes on face, neck and back, bit of slurred speech, tightness of tongue and swelling of the lips.

This time round, I was not as lucky.

I felt the itch and discomfort in my throat half-way thru' the class.

My tongue felt hard and tight.

I could not move it freely.

But I continued teaching.

Big mistake.

At the end of the class, my entire body was covered with red angry rashes and bumps.

My speech was slurred.

I could not speak properly.

My heart was pounding very fast, and my breath shallow.

My palms and soles of my feet felt like they were covered with a thick layer of padding and very very swollen.

My lips were hot and puffy, my eyes inflamed.

My eyeballs felt like they were going to pop out any minute.

My throat was burning and very uncomfortable.

No air seems to be able to go in.

My stomach was doing somersaults.

As a matter of fact, the whole body felt like it was on high alert, in a state of emergency.

That's when I collapsed.

My assistant who was there, helped me.

Being the strong 'invincible' me, I recovered and struggled to the restroom.

That's where I collapsed a second time.

Luckily, one of the participants was there to help and support me.

But I supposed I must look bad enough for the guest who was inside to alert my assistant and another participant who were waiting outside, that I needed to go to the hospital.

As I lay cold, limp and lifeless, barely breathing, and with all my organs slowly shutting down on me, I was amazed that my mind / consciousness was very sharp, very clear.

It was very strange but I (not the physical body - it's almost half gone by now) was very awake, aware and alert about what was going on.

Such as :

1) how my assistant and the 2 participants were very worried and concerned.

2) how the security was also very concern - about how to write the report.

But I can understand.

Theirs was a six-star establishment that won countless service excellence awards and accolades.

Reports are very important.

And, in the words of the security who spoke through the walkie-talkie with the colleague, 'this is a complicated case, and getting an ambulance would be a problem cos' I was neither a hotel guest or staff. I was just a contract instructor'.

Poor dears.

I must have made things very hard for them that night.

3) How, in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, the medic tried again and again to get a reading of my blood pressure, but could not, because my blood pressure was so low it could not be detected.

It was a very interesting experience.

I remember while I was lying there, a thought crossed my mind : 'I don't want to die'.

Yet, at the same instant, I said to myself, "Let me (the ego) die."

I supposed I was tired.

Very tired.

I don't want to 'fight' anymore.

I just want to let go.

Did I die?

Unfortunately, no. I'm still very much alive and kicking today.

So sad ....

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"Subjected to change are all conditioned things.

Impermanence is the nature of all things.

The moment we are born, we're already dead.

When there's life, there will be death.

The moment things are formed, they're already broken.

It's only a matter of WHEN it happens."

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"The only thing that's permanent in life is Impermanence.

The only thing that's certain in life is Uncertainty.

Know, Understand, Realise and be AWAKEN."

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"What goes up will come down.

Whatever that comes along will go away,

Whatever that begins, too, will end."

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"To my assistant and the two members who stayed with me throughout the ordeal : Thank you. For staying with me, being there for me, and helping me. I am grateful and thankful to the 3 of you."

Once again Thank You. :)

When it's Time

When it's Time



When it's time to eat, eat.

When it's time to sleep, sleep.

When it's time to play, play.

When it's time to work, work.

When it's time to talk, talk.

When it's time to rest, rest.

When it's time to die, die ... peacefully and happily.



Knowing the love and joy we've brought to people's hearts, and the difference we've made in their lives.

"Death is no cause for sorrow, but it would be sorrow if one dies without having done something for oneself, and for the world."

- Venerable Dr K Sri Dhammananda

Power and Control vs Love and Wisdom

Power & Control vs Love & Wisdom


Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to know what Heaven is like, and if all men who believed in God goes to Heaven.

One night, he had a dream.

He dreamt that God grant him his wish to visit Heaven.

He got into an elevator and press +H (for Heaven).

He was greeted by an angel.

Who showed him around.

Heaven was just as he expected :

Very clean and orderly.

People were walking obediently, politely smiling.

Quiet and peaceful.

Everything was provided for and all those who believe in God were there.

The man asked the angel, "What about Buddha? He's a good man, even though he doesn't believe in God. Does it mean Buddha is in Hell?"

The angel replied, "Oh Yes! Of course the Buddha is in Hell."

The man asked, "Can you let me see Hell?"

The angel grudgingly agreed. Told the man to go to the same lift, and press -H (for Hell).

On his way down, the man thought to himself, "I must convince / persuade Buddha to believe in God so that he can go to Heaven. Buddha's a good man. Why can't he just believe in God?"

He thought about how Buddha must be suffering in Hell :

All darkness, cries and screams of pain and suffering etc.

And no facilities or amenities....

Just then, the lift door opens.

What greeted him was, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Not Santa Claus, please.

It was laughter.

Laughter was in the air.

Not cries of pain.

The man was surprised.

As he stepped out of the lift, he saw that Hell wasn't dark.

There was this light that was illuminating the whole place and it felt very nice.

Heaven is beautiful in its own way, but Hell ......

There's something about it that you can't put words to.

It was very comfortable, very warm, and there's a different kind of beauty.

Just then, a guide approached him with arms stretched out.

"Welcome! Welcome to Hell! Come Come, let me show you around! Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

The man looked at the guide and asked, "Is this Hell?"

The guide replied, "Oh Yes! Of course this is Hell. You bet this is Hell. This is so H-E-L-L! Ha Ha Ha!" the guide roared with laughter.

The man thought to himself, "This can't be right. How can this be Hell?

I would understand if Heaven's filled with laughter, happiness and contentment, but Hell? No way! Hell's not like that, should not be like that. Something's not right here. I must find out the reason why."

So the man asked the guide again, "If this is Hell, why are all of you laughing and so happy? Shouldn't you be feeling sad, miserable, screaming and crying in pain, and suffering?"

The guide looked at the man closely.

Seeing that the man's really not aware of what's going on,

With a huge cheeky grin on his face, the guide replied, "Oh yeah! It used to be like that. As a matter of fact, it was like that! Until ... the Buddha guy came down!"



"Regardless of 1st world or 3rd world -

As long as there's Heart, there's Wisdom, there's Love, there's Kindness, there's Compassion, and there's Mercy,

There'll always be Light and Happiness."

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"No matter how the situation is, it's for us to work it out." .
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"We create the world; the world is our creation."