Attachment vs Freedom

Attachment vs Freedom



Friendship / Relationship, to me, is like Enlightenment.

It's not tangible.

It's not physical.

It's not something you can hold on to.

It's not solid.

It's not something to grasp at, to be held.

It's to be experienced.

To be felt.

From the heart.

At the heart.

To be treasured and cherished there.

It's not about Presence; it's about Feeling.

But being Human, we like to hold on to things.

We want and need something to hold on to.

We cling, we crave, we attach.

We have to see the face, hear the voice;

If not, we'll brandish them to the 'cold palace'.

To me, that's not it.

To me, we don't have to see the person all the time.

But when we do get to see or talk to each other,

It's still the same - Nothing's changed.

It's as if time stood still

Time did not pass the two of you by

This, to me, is Real.

The Buddha knew ...

Relationships tie a person down. It would impede him from his goal of Enlightenment.

Emotions are involved, and therefore, attachment.

Often we care too much, our emotions get in the way.

We get 'sucked' into others' control dramas.

There'll be feelings of love (or rather, attachment), resentment, jealousy, unfairness etc.

It merely strengthens the ego identity of a 'self'.

So he left.

His family, his friends, his kingdom -

Misunderstood by all.

It was a huge sacrifice he made to seek Enlightenment, to free himself from 'suffering' , from the cycle of samsara, so as to enlighten and free others.

The Buddha was a noble man.

Me? I am not noble, neither do I have the courage and strength to walk away from it all.

But, perhaps, one day, I will.

"Appreciate, treasure and cherish when you have something,

And when it's gone

Be thankful and grateful for having had it once. "

"Be happy and satisfied when we have something

Be happy and Content even if we don't have

With no longing and no desire

We can, and we will, attain peace"

"To love is to free

To free is to let go

To let go is to be detached.

To be detached is to not have any craving, or wanting to control.

To not have any craving or wanting to control is to understand ...

The Emptiness and Impermanence nature of things"

Physical vs Spiritual

Physical vs Spiritual



Physical Yoga used to excite me.

I lose track of time while practising it, get 'lost' in it even.

Now, I no longer get the 'omph' or the high anymore.

I still lose track of time during practice; on and off, still enjoy and feel happy doing it, but it's no longer the same.

What excites, and takes me up to a height of 'estacy' now, is sitting quiet, alone.

Doing nothing, just looking, just feeling.

Oh it feels sooooo good!

So fulfilling

So Satisfying!

So much happiness, so much calm, so much bliss!

It's beyond words.

When you strip off everything, what's left, is Nothing.

You'll find there's nothing there.

There's no one there.

"We came with nothing,

We leave with nothing.

Nothing lasts,

Nothing is forever.

Nothing matters,

Nothing is important."

Projection vs Reality

Projection vs Reality



Once upon a time, in a land far far away, Cinderella was cleaning.

As she was cleaning, she started thinking about her Prince Charming cos he hadn't called her for a while.

She wondered what Prince Charming was doing.

Then, she thought, "Oh perhaps Prince Charming had gone hunting for furniture for their new home. The weather is warm, and Prince Charming knows that she's tired, didn't want her to suffer, so he's out alone in the hot sun hunting for furniture. Oh ......he's so wonderful! So nice, so loving, so kind ......"


However, little did Cinderella know, Prince Charming was happily sleeping, at home, snoring away, tired, not from hunting for furniture, but from playing computer games the whole day!

When Cinderella learnt what Prince Charming was actually doing, she was disappointed, upset.

She complained to her Fairy godmother, "After all these years, he's still so ABC, EFG. So PQRSTUV, XYZ !"

After Cinderella had let out her frustrations and disappointment, Fairy godmother looked at Cinderella kindly in the eye and gently said,

"I'll not give you 3 wishes for this one.

Instead, I'll give you 3 questions : You chose this man.

1) What do you expect?

2) What are you going to do about it?

3) What can you learn from it?"

Cinderella looked at Fairy godmother, and understood.

She chose Prince Charming.

1) He's just as he is

2) She has to learn to accept him for who, what and how he is

3) From his ABC, EFG, PQRSTUV, and XYZ, she can learn to be patient, to be loving and kind, and to see the D,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O and W instead.

Also, not to 'project' her fantasies of Prince Charming.

Very often, we project fanciful fantasies about others, and/or our partners.

We think of them as so good, so wonderful, and we put them so high up on a pedestal and idolise them.

In reality, they are just being who they are.

When we discover that they're not as fantastic as our projections, we become disappointed, angry, upset.

It's our fanciful and fantasy/fairy tale projections that cause our disappointment.

Similarly, just as we 'project' fanciful fairy tale fantasies,

We also 'project' negative feelings towards certain people.

We think of them as so bad, so terrible, seeing their face annoys us, and whatever they do is just wrong.

We condemn and dump them into the cold dungeons, into the '18th hell' ;

When in reality, they're really not as 'bad' as how we project them to be.

If we think about it, is anyone totally good or bad?

"In good, there's bad,

In bad, there's good....

Two sides of the same coin."

We are the ones who focus on the 2 black spots, and ignore the white background, or vice versa.

Ultimately, good or bad depends on our discriminating minds and subjective projections, which also leads to favouritism or prejudice, and in the end, our suffering.

We cause our own suffering ......

Letting Go vs Holding On

Letting Go vs Holding On



I used to teach classes in a club at Raffles Place.

I enjoyed teaching in that club - the people there were very nice and friendly.

Then one day, it came to me that it was time to leave.

I could not.

I love the class.

It meant a lot to me.

Usually, I would go half-an-hour earlier before the class starts to share with the members - 50 mins for a class is just not enough.

That week, I was early but I didn't go up to the club.

Instead, I sat on one of the chairs overlooking Singapore River, till it was time for class.

I could not face the participants.

I needed time alone.

I was in a dilemma.

My mind was disturbed.

I was not happy.

For 2 months, I was going to and fro : letting go, holding on ... letting go, holding on....

Oscillating like a pendulum bob.

The day I decided to let go, I felt a sense of relief.

And the day I informed the club of my decision, I was uplifted.

I knew I did the right thing : My shoulders felt lighter. I felt I could fly.

Never have I felt so happy, so free.

I know I'll miss the participants, but I also knew that it was time for me to say 'goodbye'.

In my heart they'll always be and the experiences we shared will always live and never die.

With the letting go of this class, I know I'll have no problem letting go of any other classes.

"Letting go is painful, only if you hold on tightly."

"Hold something lightly, and learn to be able to let it go."

"Learn to let go. Avoid being attached to things."




To all my students (or rather, 'teachers') of the classes which I have dropped - whether directly or indirectly :

This one, is for you.

"Maitre-Light thanks you -

For all the joys, the laughter, the aches and the pains,

For all the wonderful feelings that will always remain;

Side by side,

or miles apart ...

All of you will always have

A place in my heart ...

May all be well and happy always.

Namaste :)

Contentment vs Craving

Contentment vs Craving


After graduation, I wanted a job that's 'compatible' with my qualifications.

I got a job with reasonable pay, doing very simple tasks.

I was unhappy.

I've got a double degree, surely I can do more than just simple tasks like these.

Way before 'busy-ness' became a trend, I already wanted it - look busy, act busy, be busy -

Busy busy busy ....

So, I found one.

What people would call a high flying job, earning big bucks and VERY busy.

Was I happy?

No!

I was miserable, stressed out, tired, depressed, and so Not happy!

So I left. Got myself temp work, earn little, did simple tasks, but very happy.

Then, my greed, ego and craving got the better of me.

I started thinking ...

I've got a degree! I should not be doing this.

What I'm paid is too little - I should be earning more!

What about my future? I don't have enough for retirement!

My skills, my talents, my knowledge, my abilities, my everything, ME!

I'm not fully utilised. This job is a shame to my talent, my skills, my ....

Blah blah blah

I was so full of myself.

My ego was so huge I could put the whole Earth in it.

So, back I went to those 'high flying, busy' jobs that squeeze every drop of blood, sweat and fat out from me.

Was I happy?

No! Of course not! You kidding me?!

I was miserable, stressed out, tired, depressed, and so so so NOT HAPPY!

So I left. Again.

Temp, busy, temp, busy ... round and round I was going in circles, like a dog chasing its tail.

Then one day, as I sat on my bed, reflecting,

I saw.

For the first time, I saw right in front of me, so clearly what was happening.

How could I be so foolish?

So blind?

History was repeating itself over and over again, yet, I didn't 'see' it.

From that moment on, I took off the chains of craving, and walked my first step towards

The Light of Contentment.

Was I happy?

VERY.




"When there's no wanting, there's no having, there'll be no lacking."

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"Contentment is the greatest Wealth

Wisdom comes to the one who's content "




"From craving springs grief

From craving springs fear

For he who's wholly free from craving

There's no grief, much less fear"

- The Buddha

To 'mah to vs To 'may' to

To 'mah' to vs To 'may' to



You say 'tomahto', I say 'tomayto'

It's just a fruit, it's just a vegetable.


You say 'tomahto', I say 'tomayto'

We can argue till the cows come home and still not reach an agreement.


You say 'tomahto', I say 'tomayto'

It's still just a fruit, it's still JUST a vegetable.


"Which is more important -

Harmony of a relationship, or being right?"

"Let go, live and let live

Forgive and be at peace. "

.

.

"Avoid taking silly chances with Happiness just to win some small point. "

Why Oh Why?

Why oh Why? Observations of the strange, sad and silly kind



1) Those of you who are parents will be familiar with this :

When children fight, parents have no peace ... and get headaches.

If there's a God / Creator, and as a 'parent' of those who call themselves his 'children',

I bet he is probably having a huge, massive headache right now, and no peace too - seeing how his 'children' are fighting and arguing among themselves.

Since they are all 'children' of the same 'parent', why are they fighting and arguing?

Wouldn't it be nice that they help each other, embrace each other and work with each other, instead of fighting?

Maybe this is what people call 'sibling rivalry'.

Interestingly, isn't this what we, the world, is experiencing right now?

No peace ... and headaches.



2) Everyone likes to be first.

Even during Chinese New Year.

There's a belief that the first to put joss stick in the urn of the Kwan Yin Temple at Waterloo Street, at the stroke of 12, will bring one good luck for the new year. ( Watched this on TV some years back )

However, looking at the way all are pushing and shoving, I don't think anyone will get any luck at all!

Have you ever wonder why, in the temple of Compassion, NONE is showing compassion, or practising it?

And all are blindly following a SUPERSTITIOUS tradition that does more harm than good.

If only they had read THE KALAMA SUTTA.



3) It seems to me that people like to burn.

Otherwise, why would they, come rain or shine, stand round a scorching and smoky fire, inhaling all that smog and haze, and get themselves and their family 'jewels' roasted?

And in the process, create a 'beautiful' Heaven-like ambience to their immediate surroundings, with strange-looking particles floating around.

It's funny they don't burn the real thing.

Firstly, it'll help save a lot of trees and the environment,

Secondly, it'll help save a lot of time and effort going to get the fake money, etc and then folding them into nice shapes.

Have you ever wonder who gets the cash?

The departed loved ones?

I don't think so ...

Cos' the only people I see collecting the burnt cash ( or rather, ash ) are the cleaners.

And if you were to ask if they've benefitted, or become richer from it ( collecting the burnt cash ), they'll probably think you're mad.

So, nope, definitely not them either.

Perhaps the only ones who benefit and get the cash (the real cash) are the shopkeepers who sell these fake money etc.

Surely there must be a better, and a more environmentally friendly way to show our respect and filial piety to our ancestors, and to remember our loved ones by -

For example, appreciate them when they are alive.

Or, do good in their names after they're gone.

Wouldn't that be better and more meaningful?

To truly benefit the departed loved ones, wouldn't it be better to use the money to make donations to charities, temples etc in the names of the loved ones, to benefit more people, rather than buying these fake money etc to burn?

I'm sure making donations will help earn plenty of merits, too, not just for the departed, but also for those who are still alive.



4) I think humans spend a lot of time talking -

Over the phone, on the net, sms, face-to-face meeting etc.

Yak yak yak, blah blah blah, lah lah lah .....

Wouldn't it be good if we can spend a little less time talking, and a little more time keeping quiet, being silent, reflecting and observing, studying and learning about the mind, Life and things around us?

The world would be a much happier and peaceful place.

Otherwise, why do you think they say 'silence is golden', and 'Empty vessels make the most noise'?

Note to All Readers :Please know that the alternatives suggested above are just suggestions. They are merely alternatives which I feel, if we can, perhaps consider.

Thank you... :)