Nobody Me

Nobody Me


Somewhere in November 2007, I was at a fast food outlet having my lunch, when a local celebrity walked in with a group of children, and sat down at a table at the opposite corner of where I was seated.

I noticed that every one's eyes were on them, including mine.

I was aware that on and off, I would cast a glance in their direction.

I don't know why.


Later, when I reflected on it, I realised it's humans' nature.

Actually, it's not easy being a celebrity, cos' all eyes will be on you wherever you go.

There's really not much of a privacy, and you're constantly under scrutiny.

It's as if you have to always be on your guard, in your best behaviour -

No scratching of the head or butt here, no touching of your nose or mouth or ears there.

And you always have to look good - Not your version of good, mind you, but others'.

Cos' you'll constantly be 'judged' based on people's perspective of what's good, how you should behave etc.

Any misbehaviour or mistake on your part will be blown out of proportions, sensationalised even.

It's as if you're a god (which to a certain extent, you are) and not a human (which is what you Really are).

Boy! That's stressful!


Whereas, if you're a nobody, no one would bother, or even cast an eye on you, which is very good.

Cos' that means you can escape the 'radar', and you don't have to pretend.

You can be the real you - who you really are.

And that way, you'll be happier, at ease.

And that's also the reason why I'm happy and content being a 'Nobody Me'.



"我从来就不在乎 自己不是一个大人物 因为平凡也是一种幸福转 看到名人总是忙忙碌碌 我的时间由我控制 平凡日子一样会充实"


- Taken from the song 小人物的心声





"When there's praise, there will be blame.

When there's fame, there will be ill-fame.

When there's happiness, there will be sorrow.

And when there's fortune, misfortune will quickly follow."

- The Buddha




"Faring Far, wandering alone, bodiless, lying in a cave, is the mind.

Those who subdue it are freed from the bonds of Mara."

- The Buddha (Dhammapada v.37)




"Fame, Fortune, Glory, Praise, Recognition, Competition etc are ways of the worldly people;

For the wise, it doesn't matter."

It's All The Same Anyway

It's All The Same Anyway



One of the stories which I find interesting in the book, "Opening The Door of Your Heart", by Ajahn Brahm, is the one on his 'Enlightenment'.

There was one night Ajahn Brahm was doing walking meditation till late.

As he went deeper into the meditation, insights came cascading down like a waterfall, dawning him.

He felt, "This is it!"

He did not sleep much that night, yet he felt very energised.

And also, exceptionally happy.

The day after his 'enlightenment', as usual, he went for his meal.

One meal a day.

The Abbot of monastery was in front of him, and he's 2nd in line.

That special day, instead of the usual rotten fish curry which they have to eat day after day, they were given another pot of pork curry.

Even the Devas are celebrating his 'enlightenment', he thought.

Ajahn Brahm watched in earnest anticipation as the Abbot took 3 huge ladleful of the delicious pork curry.

But there's still plentiful left, thought Ajahn Brahm, and besides, he's the next in line, so it's ok.

So, imagine Ajahn Brahm's astonishment and anguish when after scooping the pork curry in his bowl,

The Abbot of the monastery, instead of passing it over to Ajahn Brahm,

Poured the whole pot of delicious pork curry into the rotten fish curry, and stirred them together, telling Ajahn Brahm, "It's all the same anyway."

Ajahn Brahm was fuming mad.

Hopping mad.

"What do you mean it's all the same anyway?! If it's all the same, why didn't you mix them up before taking that 3 huge ladleful of pork curry yourself?! You ......... !"


Then, suddenly, a realisation struck Ajahn Brahm : Enlightened ones do not have preferences over food, nor do they get angry.

At that point, of course Ajahn Brahm realised he's NOT enlightened after all.

He was so dispirited he didn't care what he had to eat.

But, the point I want to make is not about Ajahn Brahm.

Rather, about the Abbot.

He's absolutely Right!

It's all the same anyway.

Rotten fish curry, pork curry, chicken curry, mutton curry, beef curry, whatever curry.

No matter how good and delicious the food looks on the table,

When it goes into your mouth, down the oesophagus, into your stomach, all the way to the intestines and colon and out from the rectum, it's ALL the same anyway.

You can eat food that's attractively coloured, in hues of blue, green, yellow, pink, orange, red and even gold.

But when it comes out from the bottom, it's all the same black, brown or yellow.

Or, when you put them in your mouth and start chewing them to bits and pieces, swallowed them down your throat and they're grind by the concentrated hydrochloric acid in your stomach,

By a mere chance you have a stomach discomfort or upset, when you start throwing them up, or releasing them down, it doesn't look as appealing and appetising anymore, does it?

So why even bother eating in expensive restaurants, paying huge sums of money for a meal,

When it's All The Same anyway?




"There are many facets to Dhamma."

The Guru and His Bowl

The Guru and His Bowl


Once upon a time, there was a king who had a huge palace, many beautiful wives, jewels and gold, everything anyone could possibly want.

He had a guru, who was a yogi and very ascetic.

All that the guru had was a begging bowl.


One day, while the guru was giving teachings to the king under a tree in the palace grounds, a servant came running out calling,

"Your Majesty! Your Majesty! The whole palace is on fire! Please come immediately!"

The king looked at the servant nonchalantly and replied,

"Don't bother me. I'm here with guru learning Non-attachment. You go and deal with it."


At that, the guru jumped up saying,

"What do you mean don't bother?! I left my bowl in the palace!"

Now, who's the real guru here?




"Not by a shaven head does an undisciplined man, who utters lies, become a monk.

How can one who is full of desire and greed be a monk?"

- The Buddha




"He who wears the yellow robe, without being freed from impurities, who is devoid of self-control and truth, is not worthy of it."

- The Buddha (Dhammapada verse 9)





"The bhikkhu who is calm in body, calm in speech, calm in mind,

Who is well-composed,

Who has given up worldly things, is truly called a peaceful one."

- The Buddha





"He is not a wise man just because he talks much;

Only he who is peaceful, free from enmity, and does no harm to others,

Is called a wise man."

- The Buddha





"Let one first establish oneself in what is proper, and then instruct others.

Such a wise man will not be defiled."

- The Buddha





"You can have all the visualisations, symbols, knowledge etc.

But with no real understanding of the Dhamma,

You can and will never be enlightened."





"He who never thinks of anything as 'mine',

Who does not feel the lack of anything,

He is never worried by a sense of loss."

- The Buddha





"But if monks like this get stuck on their material possessions - robes, alms food, lodgings, and medicine - without behaving themselves properly in line with the sacrifices that other people have made for their sake, then they're not really contemplatives.

They're simply taking advantage of their donors."

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo





"People who have a good opinion of themselves but aren't good in their behaviour are burdensome and heavy, causing cracks wherever they stay."

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo






"Not by fine talk, not by good looks is one considered good-hearted,

If he/she were jealous, selfish and deceitful."

- The Buddha (Dhammapada v.262)





"Many men wearing the yellow robe up to their necks who have an evil disposition and are unrestrained in thought, word and deed are reborn in a woeful state on account of their evil deeds."

- The Buddha (Dhammapada v.307)

The Blame Game

The Blame Game


You left a plate of food standing outside, and the ants crawled in.

After a while, you put it in the fridge without checking.

The next time you take it out to eat, you saw the ants in the food, and you said,

"I so poor thing. I can't eat. All because of the stupid ants' fault."

Really?

Who's the Real poor thing here?

Because of your own laziness and heedlessness, you left the food outside.

Naturally the ants smelling the food, will crawl into the food.

You still have your life, don't you?

You still can easily cook or find something else to eat.

But what about the ants?

They're dead.

So many lives were lost because of your one act of laziness and heedlessness.

The ants are just doing something that's natural to them - finding food to satisfy their hunger.

Don't you look for food when you're hungry?

Just as Ajahn Chah used to tell the Western monks,

"You Western monks have got stupid feet."

Cos' the Western monks are always stumping their foot or stepping into things.

What Ajahn Chah is saying, is -

It's YOUR fault.

Stop blaming others.

Blaming doesn't solve the problem.

Stop even blaming yourself.

Blaming yourself doesn't solve anything either.

Acknowledge (ie admit you've made a mistake),

Forgive, and Learn never to do it again.

That's growth.

Says who?

Says The Buddha.



"The cultured man blames others;

The semi-cultured man blames himself;

And, the fully cultured man blames neither."

(They learn from the experience.)

- The Buddha





"Man's mind is given to so much self-deceit (and conceit) that he does not want to admit his own weakness/es

He will try to find some excuse to justify his action and to create an illusion that he is blameless.

If a man really wants to be free, he must have the courage (and humility) to admit his own weakness/es."

- Venerable Dr K Sri Dhammananda





"Stop scratching your head when your butt is itching."

- Ajahn Mun and Ajahn Chah





"People who blame others are like people who stumped their foot against a chair and scolds and beats the chair for being there;

Who scolds the traffic lights for turning red;

Who bangs and hits and complains when their computers breaks down, or is 'slow';

In short, Insane."




"Who's more stupid -

The person who beats and scolds the chair (for being there),

Or, the chair?"

Saving Others

Saving Others


There's a question people used to ask the grooms during weddings, which puts them in a spot :

"When they are shipwrecked with their mums and wives, who will they save first?"

Guys, I'm going to give you the secret to answering this question without getting or feeling sandwiched.

The answer to the above question is -

Yourself.

You are going to save yourself first.

If people say you are selfish, ask them,

"Without finding a way to save myself first, or without saving myself first, how am I to know how to save others?"

Contrary to popular humanistic beliefs, saving ourselves first so as to save others is not selfishness.

Rather, it is the Real Pure Selflessness.

Saving others without first saving ourselves,

Now that's pure stupidity. Foolishness.

Think about it -

Even the airlines' safety procedures (if you watch them) also emphasize that in the event of an air decompression, you are to put the oxygen mask on YOURSELF FIRST, before helping your child or others seated next to you.

Reason is very simple.

If you help others first, before you can even put the oxygen mask on them, you would have lost consciousness.

So, instead of having 1 or 2 survivors, we end up with 2 dead corpses.


Even The Great Buddha himself focused on his own Enlightenment first before teaching/enlightening others.

And it makes sense.

Just imagine,

How can you lead others out of a dark cave when you don't even know, or can't even find the way out yourself?

There are many people out there who can talk a lot, and seems to have a lot of knowledge about salvation, yet they can't even save themselves.

To delay or not to want to be enlighten so that others can be enlightened first, sound very good and nice to the ears,

BUT unfortunately, in Truth, it does not work that way.

Sorry.

No one can enlighten another if they are NOT enlightened yet.

And, if they're truly enlightened, no matter how compassionate they are, they'll NOT be back after they've passed away.

For they would have gone forth to parinibbana.

The fact they are back is because they haven't let go.

Self-sacrifice always sounds and seems so great and appealing,

But if you don't know the way out, it'll always be second guessing.

It's like the blind leading the blind

And all end up in a cesspool.


To me, the best solution is

When 2 people are shipwrecked, each find a way to save themselves first, if possible,

Without depending on, or hindering the other.

Once both are secured, then together, hand-in-hand as partners, they can swim to the shore,

The shore of safety .........

Of Nibbana,

Of Freedom.



According to The Buddha, there are 4 types of people :

"Those who look after themselves and ignore others;

Those who look after others and ignore themselves;

Those who neglect themselves and others;

and

Those who look after themselves and others."

- The Buddha




"Let a man apply himself to what is proper before he preaches others."

- The Buddha




"It is IMPOSSIBLE for a person Not having realised meditation, wisdom, The Path, Fruition and Nibanna himself to teach and lead others to such realisation and Attainment."

- Venerable Ajahn Mun




"The actual practice enjoined by The Buddha does not place such a high value on altruism at all.

In fact, he gave higher praise to those who work exclusively for their own spiritual welfare than to those who sacrifice their spiritual welfare for the welfare of others (Anguttara Nikaya 4:95)"

- Thanisarro Bhikkhu on The Buddha's words.




"Do not forget your spiritual development while serving others."

- The Buddha

"It's only through the destruction of illusion and ignorance that one can really be free, and not otherwise."

- Venerable Dr K Sri Dhammananda





"If we don't straighten ourselves first, we can't really help anyone else.

In the same way that a crazy person can't help another crazy person become sane."

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo




"We have to 'have' before we can 'give' ."

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo

"For the sake of others' welfare, however great, let NOT one neglect one's own welfare.

Clearly perceiving one's own welfare, let one be intent on one's own goal."

- The Buddha, Dhammapada verse 166




"The only people The Buddha praised were the ones who were able to liberate themselves from suffering."

- Venerable Ajahn Chah




PROTECTING ONESELF AND OTHERS.


Once upon a time, monks, a bamboo acrobat, having erected a bamboo pole, addressed his assistant, Frying Pan: 'Come, my dear Frying Pan. Climb up the bamboo pole and stand on my shoulders.'


'As you say, Master,' Frying Pan answered the bamboo acrobat and, climbing the bamboo pole, stood on his shoulders.


So then the bamboo acrobat said to his assistant, 'Now you watch after me, my dear Frying Pan, and I'll watch after you. Thus, protecting one another, watching after one another, we'll show off our skill, receive our reward, and come down safely from the bamboo pole.'


When he had said this, Frying Pan said to him, 'But that won't do at all, Master. You watch after yourself, and I'll watch after myself, and thus with each of us protecting ourselves, watching after ourselves, we'll show off our skill, receive our reward, and come down safely from the bamboo pole.'


What Frying Pan, the assistant, said to her Master was the Right way in that case.


Monks, a frame of reference is to be practiced with the thought, 'I'll watch after myself.' A frame of reference is to be practiced with the thought, 'I'll watch after others.'

When watching after oneself, one watches after others. When watching after others, one watches after oneself.


And how does one, when watching after oneself, watch after others? Through pursuing [the practice], through developing it, through devoting oneself to it. This is how one, when watching after oneself, watches after others.


And how does one, when watching after others, watch after oneself? Through endurance, through non-violence, and through a mind of kindness & sympathy. This is how one, when watching after others, watches after oneself.


A frame of reference is to be practiced with the thought, 'I'll watch after myself.' A frame of reference is to be practiced with the thought, 'I'll watch after others.'

When watching after oneself, one watches after others. When watching after others, one watches after oneself.

— SN 47.19

Respect

Respect


After graduation, one of the jobs which I took on was that of an Operations Executive at a popular education-cum-play centre.

It was quite an established company with several branches around Singapore.

The place look very nice.

From the outside, that is.

On the inside, in the words of the new Administrative Assistant,

"It's a total mess. The accounts are so messy."

When I attended the interview, the centre director of that particular centre told me how she had to manage everything on her own, and how the rest of the staff did not help her.

I felt sorry for her.

Until I started work.

I noticed there's much distrust between the staff and her, and how the staff were also wary of me, that I'm her 'spy'.

The staff seems to dislike her.

I didn't know why until I made the following observations :

She comes to work about 10 to 11 o'clock, goes for lunch at about 12, sometimes 11.30, and comes back only about 3/4 o'clock in the afternoon.

To quote the Administrative Assistant who shares the same office as her,

"She does nothing but yaks on the phone with her friends until it's time to go home."

And that's about 5.30, 6.

She's hardly at the centre.

It's practically 'self-rule'.

Whenever there's a problem, she's no where to be found.

The staff simply goes about doing their jobs, 'governing' themselves.

There's no direction, guidance or assistance from her.

That, I can understand why.


One day, I think barely a week after I started work, the usual night shift lady had to go on emergency leave.

The Director gave instructions over the phone to one of the colleagues that I was to cover the shift.

As the Director was not around, I turned to my colleagues for help, asking them what the night shift entails.

No one seems to know, or reluctant/refused to share.

They told me to ask the Director.

At about 6pm, after all the staff had left, the Director told me she's also leaving for the day.

I quickly asked her about the closing duties cos' she was barely around the whole day.

And when she came in in late afternoon, she was so busy on the phone that I had no opportunity to speak to her.

So, imagine my surprise when she looked at me, smiled, and said,

"Eh........ I don't know."

I was shocked.

My heart sank.

Honestly, so did my respect for her.

I mean, I still respect her, her title that is.

But to give her credit, at least she's frank about it, and told me to call the normal night shift lady to find out.

Apparently, she's the only one who does the closing, and when she's on leave or off, she has to come back in the night to specially close the centre, something she's also unhappy about.

Following this incident, I told myself that as the operations person,

I must learn all that my colleagues know, and all that they don't know, so that I can guide them.

A principle which I uphold and abide by till this day.

As an instructor, I made sure that I know all the nuts and bolts, ins and outs, around and abouts of the poses before I share them with my students.

I used my body as a 'guinea pig' for all my experiments with the poses, and find out how best to them so that the participants do not hurt or injure themselves while doing it.

From then on, I embark on an offensive, and set out to learn everything from my colleagues.

After all, they were more senior and experienced than me, albeit the designation/title.

I clocked 8am - 11pm everyday, learning all that I should learn, and talking to my colleagues regarding the duties and the roster.

I wrote out an operations manual, detailing all the duties, and a step-by-step guide for the opening and closing of the accounts etc, giving everyone a copy each.

I arranged the roster in such a way that I was there to guide all my colleagues, both old and new, on both the opening and closing duties, until they are all proficient in it, so that everyone can go on leave and have off days without disruption.



The happiest moment I had was about 1-2 years after I left the place.

One of the colleagues arranged a dinner get-together.

During the get-together, a middle aged lady who at that time when I was there, had phobia about computers, told me there was one time after I had left the centre, she had to do closing on her own.

At this point, her eyes gleamed, and her face shone with pride and happiness as she related to me how that night, armed with the operations manual which I wrote out for them, and she recollecting the nights I spent coaching her, she conquered her fear of computers and succeeded doing the closing on her own without any hassle.

She told me she felt so happy and proud of herself.

Honestly , so was I.

So proud and happy for her.

What happen to the centre?

Apparently, according to my colleagues, sometime after I left, the centre was forced to shut down cos' the rent was in arrears for several months.

Subsequently, all the other centres in Singapore closed down, too.

"When the ruler of a country (or company) is just and good,

The Ministers become just and good.

When the Ministers are just and good,

The higher officials become just and good.


When the higher officials are just and good,

The rank and file become just and good.


When the rank and file are just and good,

The people become just and good."

- The Buddha

"Let a man apply himself to what is proper before he preaches others."

- The Buddha

"Respect is not given;

It has to be earned."

"It's easy to be bad

But difficult to be good."

- The Buddha

Perception and Perspective

Perception and Perspective


1) I watched this on TV some years back : 2 mothers met and started talking (or rather, gossiping).

Mother A : Hello! Congratulations! I heard your son got married. How's the daughter-in-law?


Mother B (looking dejected) : Oh ... thanks. She's terrible! She's a lazy, good-for-nothing bum who does nothing but eats and sleeps the whole day. Can you imagine? My son even have to serve her breakfast in bed!


Mother A : Really?! That's terrible!


Mother B : Yah ... tell me about it. Hey! I heard your daughter recently got married, too. How's the son-in-law?


Mother A : Oh, he's such a good boy! He's so wonderful. My daughter doesn't need to do anything except eat and sleep the whole day. He even serves her breakfast in bed!


Mother B : Really?! She's so lucky!




2) Think back of a time when you were very happy, enjoying yourself and having fun.


Now, think of a time when you're sad, miserable, and maybe even heartbroken.

Notice when you're happy and enjoying yourself and having fun, time seems to pass so fast?


And notice when you're unhappy, feeling sad and miserable, time seems to drag its feet?


Why is that so?


Did time change its speed?

Or does it lie with you?



3) Why is it that people say a child who lived a life of 10 years is short, while a couple who's married for 10 years, long?

It's the same duration of 10 years, is it not?

So why is one considered long, while the other short?



4) Why is it that to a child, $1 can get you sweets, But to an adult, $1 can't get you anything?


5) Why are hospitals a place of death, but not the kitchens?

Animals lose their lives in the kitchens, don't they?


6) Why is it that the best Chinese/Mandarin must be from China, and a Yoga guru/teacher/instructor must be Indian, or from India?

I remembered about 2-3 years ago, a student, now a friend, revealed to me that when he first joined the Yoga class 4 years ago, he expected to see an old Indian instructor from India.

So, when he saw that the instructor is 'a young Chinese girl' (as he puts it) instead, he was shocked.

He wasn't expecting a young girl, much less a Chinese.

And he told me that at that time, he wondered how much this 'young Chinese girl' would know about Yoga.

Why do we think/perceive that only Indians know about Yoga?

And why must the instructor be old?



7) I suppose the best example would be my classes.

Those who had attended before would know what I'm talking about.

To me, my classes are simple, easy, gentle, and manageable.

Basic even.

But those who attend the class tend to find it otherwise.

I guess one of my students say it best when she told me,

"It's relative."







"Those who grasp at perceptions and views go about butting their heads in the world."

- The Buddha






"What's right?

What's wrong?

What's right, what's wrong lies in the minds;

All of your minds."






"Perception = Conditioning.

Whatever perspective (view) we have or take is due to our perception.

Which in turn is due to our conditioning.

Whatever perspective (view) we have towards people, things etc is conditioning from past experiences, memories etc."






"Whatever the mind perceives, the mind conceives,

the mind believes, and the mind achieves.

That's why the mind is the fore runner, the chief."