Motherhood

Motherhood


I believe by now all of you would know that I'm a Yoga instructor.

In the course of my work, some of my students, who are parents, told me I don't understand what it is like to be a parent, cause I'm not one.

However, I disagree.



As an instructor, I feel that I'm like a mother.

And all my students, my children.

Some of them are babies, others toddlers, or much older.

And each of them get different attention and treatment from me.



It is not just about them learning what I know, but also about me knowing each one of them, and what and how much each of them can cope with.

I remembered once a student (a very good student with huge potential) asked me in class, "Why do I keep focusing on her?"

Yet another time, another student asked me after a class, "Why am I so kind and nice to one, and so 'fierce' towards another? It seems so unfair."

My reply was, "Cos' one is still a baby and the other, a child."



If you come in contact with babies before, you'll know what babies are like -

Not cute, not adorable, not pure, not innocent, not cuddly.

That's all physical.



But rather, they know NOTHING.

Yet, they think they know and understand everything.

They can't even stand, let alone crawl, yet they want to go out and play and skip with their older siblings.

They can't wait to grow up.



As I've mentioned in "Mynah and Her Nestling", in parenting, we're loving and educating our kids.

Therefore, right discipline at the right time is paramount, a necessity.

There are times when I'm firm with the 'babies', especially when the situation calls for it.

But usually, I'm stricter towards the 'children', cos' babies don't understand, but children do.



To many, it may seem and appear that I'm unfair, that I show favouritism - that I'm so kind and patient and gentle to some, and so strict and demanding on others.

In Reality, I'm just being a mother to all her children, and expressing my love for them the best way that I can.

And that is, for those who are old enough - for them to learn to be independent, and to guide each and everyone of them to reach their potential.

That's, what Motherhood is to me.





"Knowledge without moral discipline is harmful to society."

- Venerable Kanugolle Rathanasara




"Always take your time in learning things.

It's not about learning it fast, but about learning it well."

"My learning principle : Learn, Master, Perfect, Re-learn.

That way I'm always a learner, a student, a beginner.

And that also means I have no space for EGO."

Happiness, and the Path / Way to Happiness

Happiness, and the Path / Way to Happiness



Everyone wants to be happy.

No one wants to suffer.

When Gautama Buddha taught 2500 over years ago, he taught 2 things :

"I teach only 2 things - there is suffering, and there is the end of suffering."


Unfortunately, many people misunderstood (and misinterpret) the Buddha's message and all His Teachings.

They thought the Buddha teaches suffering.

That was a misconception, mis-perception, misinterpretation.

When you truly look deeply into that statement by The Great Teacher, you'll realised that what The Buddha actually teaches is Happiness and the way to Happiness.

And its formula tried and tested by me, happy little me.

It's very easy to be happy - Real, True Happiness.


I'm not talking about the superficial, physical and temporary happiness that you get when your husband or boyfriend kisses you and tells you how much he loves you, and buys you a diamond ring and flowers;

Or when you go out shopping, buying new clothes;

Or when you win a lottery;

Or when you indulge in an expensive meal.

That's all 'fake' happiness.

They don't last.


I remember when I first gave up my seat to an old folk (*generosity).

I was so happy.

I was literally over the moon.


Or, the first time I helped a blind person.

I was happy.


When I helped others (*kindness).

I feel happy.

A few weeks ago, I stroked a cat who was sitting near the bus-stop (*compassion).

It makes me so happy.

I was smiling all the way home.


When I play with any dogs, and they kiss and lick me (*love).

I feel extremely happy.

I would laugh and giggle like a kid.


I remember recently I saw a happy dog with its tail up.

I smiled while looking at the dog.

When I looked up, I saw the owner looking at me, smiling.

I returned her smile (*harmony), and continued smiling after that.


About 4-5 years ago, I found some coins lying on the gym floor.

I picked up the coins, wrapped them up in a piece of paper and handed it to the supervisor, who told me to keep it.

It was a Saturday - flag day.

I kept the coins, intending to donate it.

When I put the coins, each and every one of them into the can.

I feel so happy (*honesty).


I used to release fish.

And when I see them swimming away happily to freedom.

I feel so happy for them (*loving-kindness).


About 1-2 years ago, when I put my arms round and told an acquaintance - friend of mine who cheated me to forget the past, I felt so happy (*forgiveness).


And, whenever I see my students/participants improve, getting better, and benefiting from yoga, be it physically, mentally or emotionally, I feel very happy (*mudita - rejoicing at others' achievements).


So you see, it's very easy to be happy.

All I need to do is smile, say please and thank you, praise/compliment someone from my heart sincerely, unconditionally.

It not only motivates them but makes them happy, put a smile on their face, and that makes me happy.


Now, consider the opposite : Anger, selfishness, hate, suspicious, jealousy, fear, resentment, greed etc.

Do they make you happy?

I don't think so.

It makes a person feel awful inside, doesn't it?

And it shows on the outside as well.

Don't take my words for it.

Try it.

Or better yet, observe.

You'll notice that whenever a person genuinely helps another, or do something good, that person will smile and look happy.

There will be a radiance of happiness shining from within.

"I loving and kind, you loving and kind.

Then the whole world will be loving and kind."

If you want to be happy, then do good - Lots of it.

For "Happiness is the path to Enlightenment." (The Buddha)

**And the best way to happiness is by ...

1) Avoid harming and/or killing any beings.

2) Avoid taking what is not given - stealing.

3) Avoid sexual misconduct.

4) Avoid false speech - lying and idle chatter/gossip.

5) Avoid taking of intoxicants.

In short, Avoid ALL evil, Cultivate good and Purify the mind (i.e. Meditate)."

"When we do things for others, we are actually doing things for ourselves.

Likewise, when we do things to others, we're actually doing it to ourselves."

"Give for the joy of giving; expecting nothing in return.

And when you can give that way, You'll find Happiness."

"Give and forget that you have given; take / receive and always remember you have taken or you have received."

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"A beautiful world can only be seen through the eyes of a happy heart."

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"Our society has become one where we tend to emphasize and judge and measure others' value, worth and/or success by their wealth, status and material possessions, instead of their morals and virtues.

And this acts as a catalyst for greed, resentment, anger, discontentment and delusions, which in turns causes Suffering."

What are we going to do about it (Part 2) ... People Power

What are we going to do about it (Part 2) ... People Power


In 'Why Fight'- http://maitre-light.blogspot.com/2007/09/why-fight.html, I mentioned that earthquakes etc are 'so-called' natural disasters.

I wonder how many of the readers when reading that particular sentence questioned why do I say that?

Aren't they 'natural'?

The answer is "Yes' and "No'.

"Yes' because they seem natural.

"No' because they are not exactly and completely 'natural'.

Disasters such as earthquakes, volcano eruptions, tsunamis etc are not just results of earth tectonic plates movements, generation and degeneration,

BUT also symptoms/results of anger, enmity, hate and all the negative emotions that's expressed by Humans -

Collective anger, enmity, hate etc of Human and living beings manifesting in/through nature.


As Venerable Dr K Sri Dhammananda says, "Man can change the atmosphere of the Universe."

"If man is cruel and wicked, always living against the laws of nature and the cosmic laws; through his acts, words and thoughts, he pollutes the whole atmosphere.

As a result of such misdeeds and thoughts, nature may not produce things which man requires for his living but instead man may be faced with epidemics and various kinds of disasters."


So you see, natural disasters are not exactly and totally 'natural' after all.

I read an article in a magazine that "in this world, 850 million people are starving, yet over 1.6 billion are obese."

In 'If' - http://maitre-light.blogspot.com/2007/08/if.html, I asked, "how many clothes can we wear in a day?"

Think about it.

It's true.

Ask yourselves, "How many pairs of shoes can you wear at a time?"

Well, unless you have 8 or more pairs of feet.

We can help the world by doing little things such as buying fewer fancy clothes and eating fewer delicacies.

It's good enough that we can dress warmly and eat properly, don't you agree?

Think about all those who don't even have proper clothes or even food to eat.


During my visit to Tibet, I came across a few.

Although most Tibetans are better off now due to the help from the Chinese Government, there are still others who are very poor.

It was a heart-wrenching sight.

Let us want less and give more.

When all our little good deeds come together, they can and will become a force that dispels disasters (whether natural or Human-create) and brings us blessings.

I loving and kind, You loving and kind.

Soon, the whole world will be loving and kind.

When everyone's mind is focused on being pure and good, the whole world will then be pure and good.

It's possible. Really.


Just as Venerable K Sri Dhammananda says,

"If on the other hand, man lives in accordance with this natural law, leads a righteous way of life, purifies the atmosphere through the merits of his virtues and radiates loving-kindness towards all other beings, he can change the atmosphere in order to bring about better results for the happiness of man."


As I mentioned in 'Competition and Consequences Part 2: Consequences' - http://maitre-light.blogspot.com/2007/06/competition-and-consequences-part-2.html,

"Negative emotions and thoughts gives out negative energy which affects the whole atmosphere."

Therefore, let us all guard our minds, thoughts and feelings constantly.

Let us do all the little good deeds we can, no matter how small or little it seem;

And let us all refrain from doing bad deeds, no matter how trivial they may be.




"We are what we think;

All that we are arises with our thoughts.

With our thoughts, we make the whole world."

- The Buddha




"The world is in a constant state of change and that changing world is situated right here in the body and minds of us all".

- Venerable Acariya Mun Bhuridatta Thera

"As long as people still value self-sacrifice and extend a helping hand to one another, life on this earth will always have meaning."

- Acariya Maha Boowa Nanasampanno




"Just as the light of a single candle can light up a million zillion other candles without itself being extinguished,

So the Kindness, Compassion, Love and Happiness of one, too, can spread to the whole world."




"What is an ocean made up of ?

Drops of water.

Without the drops of water,

There can be no ocean."



"May the light of this entry shines through and dispel away all the darkness in the world ........

Have a loving and kind New Year everyone !"


With all my love,

Maitre-Light

What are we going to do about it (Part 1) ... Our Climate, Our Environment, Our Earth and Us

What are we going to do about it (Part 1) ... Our Climate, Our Environment, Our Earth, and Us



On the return trip from Tibet to Singapore, we had to transit at Chengdu for about half-a-day while waiting for our flight back to Singapore.

We were driven to Chengdu shopping belt to spend the few hours there.

Chengdu is a direct contrast to Tibet : The place was terribly polluted. It was so dusty.

And I understand why.

It was nothing but a concrete jungle.

Everywhere I turned was nothing but buildings, buildings, and more buildings.

Apparently, plant life or trees are not part of their town planning.

There were so few plant life, much less trees.


Imagine my surprise when I removed my mask (which I wore to cover my nose and mouth) in the coach and I saw brown patches!

That's how bad the pollution/air quality in Chengdu is.

I can't say about other parts of Chengdu, but the city is definitely polluted.


It's a good thing that the Singapore Government is finally beginning to be a bit more environment conscious, and starting to plant more trees.

However I hope they do not chop down the 'old dames' - the really huge and tall bushy trees that provide the most shade and oxygen, which they are doing in some places, cos' for trees to grow to that height and size requires many years.

Otherwise, in the near future, Singapore could easily become the next Chengdu, with all the smog, dust and haze (which is already happening now).


Forests, which are the lungs of the Earth absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.

When our lungs are ill, we have difficulty breathing.

Our Mother Earth is already having difficulty breathing now. (Read : "Earth, do you know she's in pain" - http://maitre-light.blogspot.com/2007/02/earth.html)

She needs healthy lungs, so we need to plant and protect trees, the rainforests etc.

For Earth to recover, we must be mindful in taking good care of her - Every moment.


Problems and Solutions come hand in hand.

The security of human beings lies in the security of the Earth.

It is people who are heartlessly damaging the Earth, but it is also people who can save and protect her.

We are our own best friends, but we are also our own worst enemies.

We are both the Creator and the Destroyer.

The question is, "We Create this 'mess', so how and when are we going to clean it up?"

"Even though today's scientists may reject the idea, the Earth seems to be in tune with the destructive fury of mankind."

- C. G Jung

"As we create, we destroy.

The creation of technology destroys patience, family time and togetherness etc.

The creation of wealth destroys morals, values and virtues.

The creation of buildings and construction destroys nature;

AND, the creation of economy and industrialisation destroys the environment.

It is Not about not creating.

But about creating with a conscience, in a balanced way, with Morality and in Moderation."

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"The 'end' of the world lies Not in the forces of nature, nor in the hands of some supreme Being (God/s), or any other beings (ETs, UFOs etc).

But in the hands of Human kind.

Human kind alone, through an ignorant, delusioned and selfish mind, can and will destroy civilisation.

It's through the irresponsible and egoistic acts of Human kind that civilisation will be destroyed."

"Everything begins from the mind, and therefore will have to end with the mind - The way in is the way out.

If we don't change our minds (ie. our thinking, altitude, actions etc).

We will self-destroy ourselves."

"The heart (i.e mind) is the principal actor, and the one ultimately held accountable for all actions.

If people's hearts motivate them to act in evil ways, the entire planet can easily be destroyed as a consequence.

Thus, it is essential that our hearts should receive proper training and care so that we can safely look after ourselves and the world we live in.

- Venerable Acariya Maha Boowa NanaSampanno

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"The world comes to ruin only if people's spiritual values comes to ruin first.

When spiritual values deteriorate, then everything people do becomes just another means of destroying the world and subverting Dhamma (Truth)."

- Venerable Acariya Maha Boowa NanaSampanno

The Price of meat

The Price of meat



Do you eat meat?

I'm not particularly a meat-eater from young, and till now, it's still not a must-have for me.

I'm actually quite content if I don't have meat to eat, or a meat dish.

For some people, it's a must, and I understand.

Whenever you eat a piece of meat, have you ever wonder where the meat comes from?

I have.



According to the World Watch Institute, producing 1kg of beef requires 16kg of grain and 100,000 litres of water and creates 13kg of carbon dioxide.

Just imagine how much grain and water can be consumed by a whole cow, and how much pollution can be produced.

Sometime back, The Sunday Times reported that it takes only 116.6L of water to produce 1kg of wheat, but 3673L to produce 1kg of meat.

Nearly 15.4kg of corn and soy are needed to produce 1kg of pork.

Not forgetting the pollution : the livestock industry accounts for 9% of carbon dioxide deriving from human-related activities, and generates 65% of man-made nitrous oxide, which has 296 times the global warming potential of carbon dioxide, and most of this comes from manure.



Knowing the above, isn't it time for us to consider cutting down on our meat consumption?

Especially if it is just to satisfy our palates and/or greed.

It's good enough that we can fill our stomachs, don't you think?

Must we really eat a big chunk of meat?

With a decrease in demand, automatically the supply will also have to decrease.

It's not just for our health, but also the health of Mother Earth - the environment.

Think also about all the animals who are sacrificing their lives, suffering in pain and being abused by the farmers so that we can eat.

Think also about the amount of grain that's used to feed the animals when it can be better used to feed others in the world who are starving.

The fault and responsibility do not lie in the animals.

It lies in us - the consumers.



So, the next time you eat a piece of meat, please remember where that piece of meat comes from, and the price for eating it.

In Ajahn Chah words,

"Think about this seriously, please."

"Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on earth as much as the evolution of a vegetarian diet."

- Albert Einstein

"If animals were created for men, then it could follow that men were also created for animals since there are some animals which eat human flesh."

- Venerable Dr K Sri Dhammananda

"Man's cruelty towards animals is another expression of his uncontrolled greed."

- Venerable Dr K Sri Dhammananda

Poor Me

Poor Me


Note : The story below is taken from the book "Everything is Teaching Us - a collection of teachings by Ajahn Chah."



One day, a pig farmer went to see Ajahn Chah.

He was complaining, "Oh man! This year is really too much! The price of feed is up, and the price of pork is down. I'm losing my shirt!"

Ajahn Chah listened to his laments, then said, "Don't feel too sorry for yourself, sir. If you were a pig, then you would have good reason to feel sorry for yourself.

When the price of pork is high, pigs are slaughtered.

When the price of pork is low, the pigs are still slaughtered.

The pigs really have something to complain about.

The people should not be complaining. Think about this seriously, please."

The farmer was only worried about the prices he was getting.

The pigs have a lot more to worry about, but we don't consider that cos' we are not the ones being killed. The pigs are.



Now, think about it.

Who are the real 'poor me'?

Not us humans.

Cos' we still have our lives, and we still can find a way to get by.

We ought to be thankful and grateful.

How often is it that we lament on our woes when we should be counting our blessings?

When you are unhappy, you feel that the whole world is against you, that everything is about to collapse.


However, if you take a step back, you will find that you are better off than many other people.


As the saying goes, "I complain I have no shoes, until I met a man who has no feet."

So the next time you complain, and feel sorry for yourself and think how unfortunate you are, please consider the earthworms -

At least we can still eat things like fruits, we don't have to eat dirt like the earthworms.

And if earthworms can talk, they'll probably be telling us,

"Don't feel too sorry for yourself. You walk on ground. Me? I get trampled on.

Don't you still have arms, legs and bones? I don't have those things, yet I don't feel poor."

Humans really do have a lot to learn from all the creatures great and small that are around us.

"Animals are the same as humans, Just as humans are the same as animals.

If we can 'see' this, we'll realise that they are afraid of dying, Just like people."

- Ajahn Chah

Complain, Complain

Complain, Complain



Once, there was a farmer who went to see the Buddha.

He had heard many wonderful, incredible and amazing stories about the Buddha - how the Buddha is an Enlightened One, a Great Teacher, a Compassionate being, an All-Knowing One, etc etc.



Like all of us, he has some problems in his life which he hope and expect the Buddha to help him solve.

Farmer : I like farming. But sometimes it doesn't rain. When it rains, sometimes it's not enough , and my crops can't grow. Take last year for example, we nearly starved. Then, there are times when it rains too much; so I don't have the kind of yield I want.

The Buddha nodded his head in quiet acknowledge to the farmer's complains, and listened patiently as the farmer continued.

"You know, I'm married. She's a nice lady, a good wife. I do love her but sometimes, she nags so much! And sometimes, I feel I'm tired of her, our relationship, and I want out. I want to have a change. I want to feel excitement again ........"

"I also have children ........ they are good children. It's just that sometimes they don't show me enough respect, the respect I feel they should. And then there's ........"



The farmer went on and on, pouring out all his life's problems to the Buddha, as the Compassionate One listened quietly.

After he had finished, he looked expectantly at the Enlightened One, hoping for an answer which would put everything right.

However, to his astonishment, the Buddha replied flatly, "I can't help you."



The farmer was shocked.

"What do you mean you can't help me?! You are the Buddha, for goodness sake!" cried the farmer.

"It's true I'm the Buddha. But it's also true that everyone got problems," the Buddha calmly replied.

"As a matter of fact, all of us have 83999 problems.

Each one of us.

And there's nothing we can do about it.

If you work really hard in solving one of them, perhaps you can fix it.

But even if you do, another one will pop up immediately to take its place.

Take for example, you're going to lose your loved ones one day.

And even yourself, you're going to die some day.

That by itself is a problem. And there's nothing you, I, or anyone can do about it."



"Huh?! I thought they said you are a great Teacher!" the farmer shouted angrily.

"I thought you can help me! What kind of help is that? What kind of teaching is that? Of what good and use is your teaching then?!"

"Maybe to help you with your 84000th problem." said the Buddha quietly.

"84000th problem? What 84000th problem? What is the 84000 problem?" asked the farmer, puzzled, confused and lost.

"Your want to not have any problems." was the Wise One's reply.



And that, by the way is the good and use of the Buddha's Teachings - to stop our complains and dissatisfactions and discontentment with life, and to see life as it is - Suffering.

"Life is suffering.

Life is a joke.

Suffering is a joke.

If you can look and laugh at Suffering as you would a joke,

You suffer no more!"

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"Happiness follows sorrow,

Just as sorrow follows happiness.

When one no longer discriminates between happiness and sorrow,

One realises Freedom."

- The Buddha

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"My teachings is not to come and believe,

But to PRACTICE."

- The Buddha

"Whatever method we adopt to overcome our problems, it is impossible to gain complete satisfaction in our lives until we train our Minds and reduce selfishness and craving.

The Teachings of The Buddha give us a very clear exposition of how to understand the nature of human problems, and how to overcome them."

- Venerable Dr K Sri Dhammananda