Once upon a time, in a land far far away, Cinderella was cleaning.
As she was cleaning, she started thinking about her Prince Charming cos he hadn't called her for a while.
She wondered what Prince Charming was doing.
Then, she thought, "Oh perhaps Prince Charming had gone hunting for furniture for their new home. The weather is warm, and Prince Charming knows that she's tired, didn't want her to suffer, so he's out alone in the hot sun hunting for furniture. Oh ......he's so wonderful! So nice, so loving, so kind ......"
However, little did Cinderella know, Prince Charming was happily sleeping, at home, snoring away, tired, not from hunting for furniture, but from playing computer games the whole day!
When Cinderella learnt what Prince Charming was actually doing, she was disappointed, upset.
She complained to her Fairy godmother, "After all these years, he's still so ABC, EFG. So PQRSTUV, XYZ !"
After Cinderella had let out her frustrations and disappointment, Fairy godmother looked at Cinderella kindly in the eye and gently said,
"I'll not give you 3 wishes for this one.
Instead, I'll give you 3 questions : You chose this man.
1) What do you expect?
2) What are you going to do about it?
3) What can you learn from it?"
Cinderella looked at Fairy godmother, and understood.
She chose Prince Charming.
1) He's just as he is
2) She has to learn to accept him for who, what and how he is
3) From his ABC, EFG, PQRSTUV, and XYZ, she can learn to be patient, to be loving and kind, and to see the D,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O and W instead.
Also, not to 'project' her fantasies of Prince Charming.
Very often, we project fanciful fantasies about others, and/or our partners.
We think of them as so good, so wonderful, and we put them so high up on a pedestal and idolise them.
In reality, they are just being who they are.
When we discover that they're not as fantastic as our projections, we become disappointed, angry, upset.
It's our fanciful and fantasy/fairy tale projections that cause our disappointment.
Similarly, just as we 'project' fanciful fairy tale fantasies,
We also 'project' negative feelings towards certain people.
We think of them as so bad, so terrible, seeing their face annoys us, and whatever they do is just wrong.
We condemn and dump them into the cold dungeons, into the '18th hell' ;
When in reality, they're really not as 'bad' as how we project them to be.
If we think about it, is anyone totally good or bad?
"In good, there's bad,
In bad, there's good....
Two sides of the same coin."
We are the ones who focus on the 2 black spots, and ignore the white background, or vice versa.
Ultimately, good or bad depends on our discriminating minds and subjective projections, which also leads to favouritism or prejudice, and in the end, our suffering.
We cause our own suffering ......
