Power and Control vs Love and Wisdom

Power & Control vs Love & Wisdom


Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to know what Heaven is like, and if all men who believed in God goes to Heaven.

One night, he had a dream.

He dreamt that God grant him his wish to visit Heaven.

He got into an elevator and press +H (for Heaven).

He was greeted by an angel.

Who showed him around.

Heaven was just as he expected :

Very clean and orderly.

People were walking obediently, politely smiling.

Quiet and peaceful.

Everything was provided for and all those who believe in God were there.

The man asked the angel, "What about Buddha? He's a good man, even though he doesn't believe in God. Does it mean Buddha is in Hell?"

The angel replied, "Oh Yes! Of course the Buddha is in Hell."

The man asked, "Can you let me see Hell?"

The angel grudgingly agreed. Told the man to go to the same lift, and press -H (for Hell).

On his way down, the man thought to himself, "I must convince / persuade Buddha to believe in God so that he can go to Heaven. Buddha's a good man. Why can't he just believe in God?"

He thought about how Buddha must be suffering in Hell :

All darkness, cries and screams of pain and suffering etc.

And no facilities or amenities....

Just then, the lift door opens.

What greeted him was, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Not Santa Claus, please.

It was laughter.

Laughter was in the air.

Not cries of pain.

The man was surprised.

As he stepped out of the lift, he saw that Hell wasn't dark.

There was this light that was illuminating the whole place and it felt very nice.

Heaven is beautiful in its own way, but Hell ......

There's something about it that you can't put words to.

It was very comfortable, very warm, and there's a different kind of beauty.

Just then, a guide approached him with arms stretched out.

"Welcome! Welcome to Hell! Come Come, let me show you around! Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

The man looked at the guide and asked, "Is this Hell?"

The guide replied, "Oh Yes! Of course this is Hell. You bet this is Hell. This is so H-E-L-L! Ha Ha Ha!" the guide roared with laughter.

The man thought to himself, "This can't be right. How can this be Hell?

I would understand if Heaven's filled with laughter, happiness and contentment, but Hell? No way! Hell's not like that, should not be like that. Something's not right here. I must find out the reason why."

So the man asked the guide again, "If this is Hell, why are all of you laughing and so happy? Shouldn't you be feeling sad, miserable, screaming and crying in pain, and suffering?"

The guide looked at the man closely.

Seeing that the man's really not aware of what's going on,

With a huge cheeky grin on his face, the guide replied, "Oh yeah! It used to be like that. As a matter of fact, it was like that! Until ... the Buddha guy came down!"



"Regardless of 1st world or 3rd world -

As long as there's Heart, there's Wisdom, there's Love, there's Kindness, there's Compassion, and there's Mercy,

There'll always be Light and Happiness."

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"No matter how the situation is, it's for us to work it out." .
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"We create the world; the world is our creation."

My Wish for ALL - CNY

My Wish for ALL



I like Chinese New Year.

It's one of the few festivals which I enjoy.



Before every Chinese New Year,

it's customary for the Chinese to spring clean their homes.

To remove all the old clutter etc, so as to welcome the new.



To me, it's a good custom.

It's about removing the old, the past, clearing away the dust, the dirt,

and the grease that stains and sticks onto the windows and furniture,

preventing light and fresh air from streaming in to the homes.

It also strengthens the family bond, especially if everyone pitches in to help.



I enjoy spring cleaning, even though it can get tedious and frustrating sometimes.

This year, may I suggest that we not just clean out our homes, but also our minds as well.



Let's remove all the past conditioning, views, opinions and beliefs, that stains and sticks onto our minds, marring our judgement, preventing wisdom, rationality and fresh ideas from streaming in.



Let's also let go of all the past hurt and pain, all the anger and hate, all the sadness and grief, all the stress and worries, all the fears and anxieties.



Let's release them all and be free ...

Be free from hatred and ill-will

Free from anger and enmity

Free from suffering.



Let's all forgive, let go and be at peace

Let's forgive others and also ourselves, for our past misdeeds.



Let's give others and also ourselves a chance to start anew.

Let's love and be kind to others and also ourselves, and let's make this 'Home' of ours, one where all sentient beings can be free.

A world of Love, Forgiveness and Acceptance.



Have a Happy and meaningful Lunar New Year, everyone!

And a Lovely St. Valentine's Day, too!



With all my love,

Maitre-Light

Provocation vs Forgiveness

Provocation vs Forgiveness



1) I gave relief teaching in a neighbourhood secondary school some years back.

In one of the classes I was teaching, one boy was deliberately disturbing another.

So boy 2 responded by 'fighting' back.

That's when I said to him,

"Never argue with a fool; people may not know the difference."

After I past their tables, both called each other 'fool'.

I just smiled and shook my head.



2) My sister tutors a pair of siblings.

One day, she bought a packet of crackers to be shared between them.

The brother got to eat first as the sister was still in school.

When the sister got back from school, she took her share and hid it to prevent her brother from taking while she took her bath.

Her brother found the crackers, hid it elsewhere just to provoke and irritate her.

When she couldn't find her share, the little girl called her mother to complain.

In the end,

Everyone - brother, sister, mother, and my sister, suffers.



3) In the previous season of 'American Idol',

Simon made a remark about Mandisa - "We need a bigger chair this year"

Later in the competition, Mandisa told Simon,

"You hurt me ... but I forgive you."

This should be the way.

Forgiveness.

This is what it's all about.

This is what peace-loving means.


Ignore the wrong-doer.

Forgive them without fighting back or being nasty.

That way, we'll all have peace and no suffering.



"Forgiveness is the highest and most beautiful form of Love.

Forgive others not for them but for ourselves.

To give others a chance, is to give ourselves a chance."



3 remedies


When someone hurt us very badly, try the following :


1) Take it as you're eradicating your past misdeeds.


2) Forgive them for they know not what they're doing -

They hurt us cos' they're hurting, too.

And, they hurt us due to their ignorance (lack of wisdom)


3) Have compassion and loving-kindness towards them :


i ) We've been through the hurt and pain, and suffered.

Knowing that when the time comes, they'll have to go through and experience all that we've been through, and suffer for it, how can we not feel compassion and loving-kindness towards them?


ii) People who abused us - treat them as 'crazy'

How can we get angry with someone who's crazy?

It's sad enough that they're crazy.

Shouldn't we have compassion and loving-kindness towards them?

Or, at least ignore them.

I was eating at a food court one night when this man came in shouting abuses, ranting and raving away.

Everyone, including the stall owners, kept quiet and ignored him.

After a while, he left.

The stall owners knew he was crazy.

After dinner, I was walking to the next building.

That's when I heard a commotion.

People were arguing loudly.

As I walked past, I saw the same man embroiled in a heated argument with a lady and another man.

Both the lady and man were obviously upset about what the crazy man had said.

The friends of the couple tried to pull them away, but they refused.

They were having 'fun' it seems.

All 3 were shouting away, mindlessly, crazily.

If only the couple knew the man was crazy.



"Never argue with a 'fool', people may not know the difference."

Expectation vs Acceptance

Expectation vs Acceptance



1) My family used to engage a maid.

She was so lazy.

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There was not much to do actually, and she had plenty of free time.

But when there were things to be done, I always end up doing them myself.

I expected her to help me, but she just sat there and smiled.

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It was as if I was the maid - an unpaid one.

And when I asked her for help, she would tell me it's difficult to do.

I would get so upset and angry about it : Why is she so lazy? She's supposed to help out, blah blah blah ...

And caused my own unhappiness.

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Then one day, while I was thinking and getting upset about her laziness, it struck me :

.

Her laziness is Her problem.

Not mine.

Why should I get upset?

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After that, I'm peaceful and happy.

Her laziness doesn't affect me anymore.

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2) My mum broke her wrist 2 yrs ago.

The doctor and I advised her not to carry heavy things.

I also told her not to rush about so much.

I was worried -

She's getting on in age, and there's really no need to rush.

Besides, it's good to do things slowly and calmly.

But does she listen?

No.

.

I nagged and nagged.

But each time, I felt like I was nagging for my own listening pleasure.

Either that, or I must be 'invisible'!

Boy! Was I upset! I was furious! I was frustrated! I was worried!

I was unhappy. I ........

Then, it hit me - let go.

Doesn't matter.

She is just as she is.

Accept.

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That's when I realised : The issue doesn't lie with my mum.

It lies with Me.

And so, I let go.

And free myself from self-torment and torture.

I stopped nagging, stopped controlling the situation, stopped wanting things to be how I want them to be;

And stopped expecting my mum to listen to me.

After that, I felt better.

At peace.

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It doesn't mean I 'bochap' (don't care).

I merely accept.

I make peace.

I let things be, let nature flow.

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Should anything were to happen to her, I'll still be there for her.

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In the meantime, she can continue rushing and carrying heavy things all she wants.....

So long as she's happy.

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3) I always make it a point to be early or punctual, whenever possible,

So as not to 'steal' other people's time.

Some of my friends are perpetually late.

Whenever we meet, they're always late.

Not 5, 10 mins.

Sometimes, an hour or hour-and-a-half!

Initially, it affects me.

I wasn't happy about it.

Then, I learned not to expect them to be early or punctual.

And, to use the waiting time wisely to cultivate patience.

That way, when they're late, I'm peaceful and calm.

And if they're early or punctual, I'm also peaceful and calm. (Equanimity)

Funny thing is when they see me peaceful and calm,

They got upset with me for being peaceful and calm.

Human minds are so strange.

"If you have high expectations, you'll fall and be crushed.

If you have low expectations, you'll still fall,

And may or may not be crushed.

But when you have No expectations,

You'll not fall, so wherefore the crush?"

"Avoid imposing your values on others.

You say 'to mah to', I say 'to may to'

One man's meat is another man's poison.

If you love someone, you respect them.

And you give them the time, the space, and the freedom to grow -

To be who, what and how they want to be (so long as they do no harm) -

And Not who, what or how you want them to be."

"Lets accept others as they are - good or 'bad'."

Attachment vs Freedom

Attachment vs Freedom



Friendship / Relationship, to me, is like Enlightenment.

It's not tangible.

It's not physical.

It's not something you can hold on to.

It's not solid.

It's not something to grasp at, to be held.

It's to be experienced.

To be felt.

From the heart.

At the heart.

To be treasured and cherished there.

It's not about Presence; it's about Feeling.

But being Human, we like to hold on to things.

We want and need something to hold on to.

We cling, we crave, we attach.

We have to see the face, hear the voice;

If not, we'll brandish them to the 'cold palace'.

To me, that's not it.

To me, we don't have to see the person all the time.

But when we do get to see or talk to each other,

It's still the same - Nothing's changed.

It's as if time stood still

Time did not pass the two of you by

This, to me, is Real.

The Buddha knew ...

Relationships tie a person down. It would impede him from his goal of Enlightenment.

Emotions are involved, and therefore, attachment.

Often we care too much, our emotions get in the way.

We get 'sucked' into others' control dramas.

There'll be feelings of love (or rather, attachment), resentment, jealousy, unfairness etc.

It merely strengthens the ego identity of a 'self'.

So he left.

His family, his friends, his kingdom -

Misunderstood by all.

It was a huge sacrifice he made to seek Enlightenment, to free himself from 'suffering' , from the cycle of samsara, so as to enlighten and free others.

The Buddha was a noble man.

Me? I am not noble, neither do I have the courage and strength to walk away from it all.

But, perhaps, one day, I will.

"Appreciate, treasure and cherish when you have something,

And when it's gone

Be thankful and grateful for having had it once. "

"Be happy and satisfied when we have something

Be happy and Content even if we don't have

With no longing and no desire

We can, and we will, attain peace"

"To love is to free

To free is to let go

To let go is to be detached.

To be detached is to not have any craving, or wanting to control.

To not have any craving or wanting to control is to understand ...

The Emptiness and Impermanence nature of things"

Physical vs Spiritual

Physical vs Spiritual



Physical Yoga used to excite me.

I lose track of time while practising it, get 'lost' in it even.

Now, I no longer get the 'omph' or the high anymore.

I still lose track of time during practice; on and off, still enjoy and feel happy doing it, but it's no longer the same.

What excites, and takes me up to a height of 'estacy' now, is sitting quiet, alone.

Doing nothing, just looking, just feeling.

Oh it feels sooooo good!

So fulfilling

So Satisfying!

So much happiness, so much calm, so much bliss!

It's beyond words.

When you strip off everything, what's left, is Nothing.

You'll find there's nothing there.

There's no one there.

"We came with nothing,

We leave with nothing.

Nothing lasts,

Nothing is forever.

Nothing matters,

Nothing is important."

Projection vs Reality

Projection vs Reality



Once upon a time, in a land far far away, Cinderella was cleaning.

As she was cleaning, she started thinking about her Prince Charming cos he hadn't called her for a while.

She wondered what Prince Charming was doing.

Then, she thought, "Oh perhaps Prince Charming had gone hunting for furniture for their new home. The weather is warm, and Prince Charming knows that she's tired, didn't want her to suffer, so he's out alone in the hot sun hunting for furniture. Oh ......he's so wonderful! So nice, so loving, so kind ......"


However, little did Cinderella know, Prince Charming was happily sleeping, at home, snoring away, tired, not from hunting for furniture, but from playing computer games the whole day!

When Cinderella learnt what Prince Charming was actually doing, she was disappointed, upset.

She complained to her Fairy godmother, "After all these years, he's still so ABC, EFG. So PQRSTUV, XYZ !"

After Cinderella had let out her frustrations and disappointment, Fairy godmother looked at Cinderella kindly in the eye and gently said,

"I'll not give you 3 wishes for this one.

Instead, I'll give you 3 questions : You chose this man.

1) What do you expect?

2) What are you going to do about it?

3) What can you learn from it?"

Cinderella looked at Fairy godmother, and understood.

She chose Prince Charming.

1) He's just as he is

2) She has to learn to accept him for who, what and how he is

3) From his ABC, EFG, PQRSTUV, and XYZ, she can learn to be patient, to be loving and kind, and to see the D,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O and W instead.

Also, not to 'project' her fantasies of Prince Charming.

Very often, we project fanciful fantasies about others, and/or our partners.

We think of them as so good, so wonderful, and we put them so high up on a pedestal and idolise them.

In reality, they are just being who they are.

When we discover that they're not as fantastic as our projections, we become disappointed, angry, upset.

It's our fanciful and fantasy/fairy tale projections that cause our disappointment.

Similarly, just as we 'project' fanciful fairy tale fantasies,

We also 'project' negative feelings towards certain people.

We think of them as so bad, so terrible, seeing their face annoys us, and whatever they do is just wrong.

We condemn and dump them into the cold dungeons, into the '18th hell' ;

When in reality, they're really not as 'bad' as how we project them to be.

If we think about it, is anyone totally good or bad?

"In good, there's bad,

In bad, there's good....

Two sides of the same coin."

We are the ones who focus on the 2 black spots, and ignore the white background, or vice versa.

Ultimately, good or bad depends on our discriminating minds and subjective projections, which also leads to favouritism or prejudice, and in the end, our suffering.

We cause our own suffering ......